Archive | July, 2012

Giving up on whatever.

31 Jul

Well, after a long stretch of mediocrity, I’m giving up every day posting. My lastest absence has put the nail in the coffin for me. I’m not committed to it for any reason, so I’m giving it up. I don’t do things I don’t want to do. So, done.

I haven’t posted in a week or whatever. So, what is up with me? Uh, I’m really not sure how to blog about it. Or if I should. Does that make it seem exciting? It’s not. Mostly, Joe and I have what I will very broadly define as “communication issues”. And, recently, that came to a thing. And that thing led us to decide to go to counseling– both individually and as a couple. It’s an interesting but mundane time right now for us, I guess.

Actually, that sort of reminds me of another reason I don’t want to blog every day anymore: I’m whiny. And I really just want to swear a lot. But mostly the whiny. I read some TITLE to some article/blog post about something vaguely related, and I just can’t do it anymore. As much as I love it, God help me, I don’t want to whine at the internet anymore. Maybe my whole life sounds like a breathy but shrill whine to the universe right now, but I’ll try to keep it focused right there in real time only.

So what the hell will I blog about? I have no idea. Life. I guess. I sure as expletive don’t do anything well enough or with so much passion that I think I have anything worth sharing with anyone. Even the 30 or so people who peruse this fine blog.

I’m just 25, with sort of a weird/okay marriage, and a couple of kids. Whom I yell at sometimes and also sometimes only feed snacks because that’s all I feel like doing. So… yeah.

Lifestyle blog, it is.

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Day 199

17 Jul

It’s hot this summer.  And because it is so blazing hot almost every day, it is also smelly this summer.  And by “it”, I mean “me”.  Because I refuse to use a commercial antiperspirant/deodorant.  Because… I don’t know why anymore.  I mean, because of the aluminum?  Because it might be bad for me?  Because the scents all make me nauseous and remind me of being in a stinky bathroom that is not at all masked by a lousy floral spray?  

All of those reason.  And none of them.

I just am stubborn and won’t buy any deodorant when I should be able to make some myself.  A lot of emphasis on that SHOULD.  Because, so far, I have been unable to do so.  Every one I have made at home has left me with scabby pits (which is so gross on so many levels).  I think I might be having a reaction to baking soda as that has been the common thread, but I never seem to remember that when I make a new one.  Until about a week later when my armpits are red and scaly.  Again:  so gross.

And I find recipes that are touted as NO FAIL, CAN’T GO WRONG, ONLY COMPLETE, ILLITERATE IDIOTS CAN MESS THIS UP type recipes.  And yet, here I am– smelly.  DIY deodorant-less.  A little sad about it.  Wondering about my literacy skills…

If the smell of artificial fragrance and B.O. didn’t make me want to vomit, I’d just go back to regular old deodorant.  Really, I would.  But somewhere between ages 15 and 25, I became sensitive to smell.  And just the smell of most deos makes me want to barf.  A lot.

Anyway, if you see me– or rather, smell me– this summer, I won’t be offended if you take a step or two back. 

Day 198

16 Jul

I am blank today.

 

I wish I would quit trying to post every day, because this sort of situation pops up way too often.

 

Oh well.

Day 197

15 Jul

I sometimes wonder why, at the end of the day, I feel so brain dead.  Like I can barely function.  And I feel like I’ve done so little during the day.  But I think all day long.  About… so many things right now.

Like:

  • Food.  What should we spend our money on?  How do we decide?  What’s best for us right now?
  • Kids.  Do we want more?  Should we wait?  How long should we wait?  How long do I want to wait?  Are my kids developing okay?  Have I damaged them already?  (Probably!)  Is Zoe ever going to calm down?!
  • Husband.  Just… yeah.
  • Faith.  What do I believe?  Why?  Does it make sense to me still?  What doesn’t make sense anymore?  Why?  What conclusion can I now draw that I couldn’t before?  Why do I dislike going to church so much right now?
  • Chickens.  Should we?  Shouldn’t we?  Will we?  Won’t we?

At times I feel I could fill novels with the thoughts that run through my head on a given day.  It’s tiring.  I’d like to stop.  But, whatevs.  I am what I am; and, right now, it’s tiring being me.

 

Day 196

14 Jul

I’m more excited than I thought I would be to see tiny little peppers on my plant today.  I’d be happier if I saw any beans or cucumbers, though.  The great ups and downs of urban gardening…

Day 195

13 Jul

It is sort of disappointing to realize how short my attention span is.  Or whatever it is when you can’t just sit and watch a movie without doing 2-12 other things at the same time.  Unless you’re incredibly exhausted to the point of blurred vision.

Yes, so, in that vein:  I am currently, at this very moment even, watching Never Let Me Go.  It is… so much like the book that it’s sort of great and dissatisfying all at once.  Lovely in that it really captures the mood of the novel, but lacking in some of the things they’ve cut out.  But, overall, I’m enjoying the movie.

Which makes me wonder if there’s ever a standard release movie (i.e. not a mini series or even a multi-part picture) that is satisfying for the reader?  Like I enjoy Pride and Prejudice as a movie, but would I be left wanting for more out of the movie if I’d read the book?  Are they ever truly equals?  I wonder…

 

Day 194

12 Jul

I feel like I might be a liar.  Or maybe admitting my failures spurred me to change something.  But in the month or so I’ve read 5 or more books.  Uh, yeah.  I went for magazine browsing to reading actual, full-length novels.  Look who can read, after all?

One of the books in there sometime was I am Number Four.  It was an okay book; nothing too spectacular about it, but something fun to read nonetheless.  So then I decided, hey, they made that into a movie; I’ll watch that.   Got it from the lib’ary, and I just watched it today.  Okay, whatever.  Not that great.  But, when I was deciding to see this movie simply because I had read the book, I was also reading another book with a nice shiny sticker on the front cover informing me that it, too, had been made into a major motion picture.

So now I’m doing a thing.  Now I’m reading books that have been made into movies.  And then seeing the movie.  And let me just say:  so far, unimpressed with screen adaptations.  I know, I know; you always like the book better.  Books just have more time and more detail to get into things that movies have to try to explain visually.  But seriously, I am still disappointed both The Hunger Games and I Am Number Four on the big screen.  Just sort of bleh.  Meh.  Whatevs.

My next movie-adapted-from-a-novel is Never Let Me Go.  I just finished the book the other day and was just devastated in the best possible way by it.  I’m a little nervous about seeing it at all because I did really like the book, (especially after just reading what Rotten Tomatoes’ critic blurb had to say about it…) but I’m still going to do it.  

Because this is my current “thing” to do:  

Read a book.  

Watch the movie version.

Whine about the experience on my tiny blog.

What’s your favorite book-made-into-a-movie book/movie?  (Isn’t everyone’s the Harry Potter series?  Seriously?)