I am still alive.

16 Aug

Friends, I made it through that pregnancy.  Now I have an adorable little (nearly) 3 month old added to my current collection of children.  It feels so good to not be pregnant; I don’t think I can adequately describe how horrible I felt by the end of it.  Not to mention the fact that Bo didn’t come until 10 days after his “due date”, and I was really starting to doubt that he was ever going to exit my womb.

But, he did.  And, here we are.  I’m still struggling (or drowning might be a more accurate picture) trying to figure out what I want, who I am, all that “1/4 life crisis” crap.  Luckily, now, I’m not 25 anymore.  I managed to make it all the way to 26– all while keeping two kids alive and bringing a third into this (only sometimes hellacious) world.  I still really like using parentheses.  I try to stay grounded like that.

Anyway, the struggle.  Guys.  It’s an uphill battle with 30 plus pounds of baggage strapped on my back.  I oscillate between passionately loving my life and wanting to walk away from everything.  Did I mention I feel no guilt about those feelings?  Just kidding.  I feel guilty all the time!

All that to say:  I’m trying blogging again.  I still don’t know that I do anything interesting enough to warrant it, but I’m still doing it.  Everyone can suck it.  (Probably no one says that anymore, right?  I still do.  Yet another way I stay grounded and true to myself.)  Actually, don’t.  But read my blog.  And whatever.  Tell me how to become an adult.  Please.  Someone?


2 Responses to “I am still alive.”

  1. Delainey Bowers August 18, 2013 at 6:58 pm #

    Damnit, Adella, I just want to read all the words that hum around in your brain. Your posts are just so sincere, momma, and your voice is all things snark, and love, and honesty. Please keep writing.

    • adellamae August 19, 2013 at 6:45 pm #

      You are quite literally too kind, Delainey. That’s another thing I’ll never give up: saying literally too often and often inappropriately.

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