Day 173

21 Jun

I guess I’m really failing at updating every day. I’m pretty okay with it. It was a good run, but I suppose I’ve basically given up. Maybe if Joe was still badgering me every day, but he’s simply not. Oh well.

On to what’s up with me (everyone’s dying concern, I’m sure): I’m thinking a lot about making decisions. Like I did about 5 years ago when I was trying to decide what was up with Joe and me and if we should get married or stop dating or what. Good lawd, I was an idiot then. And, unfortunately, I still am. Or decision making hasn’t gotten any easier or clearer now, anyway.

So I’m trying to make a decision, right? And here’s how I’ve decided to try to do it now (and if you think I’m weird, it’s cool, but try to keep from burning me at the stake): I’m praying, asking direct questions of God, and I’m expecting answers. I’ve done it before, and, actually, I’ve more or less adopted this style of praying for/about most things.

But, as you might guess, the real trick comes from knowing whether or not what I’m hearing as an answer is actual from God or not. Since he doesn’t usually speak to me in a physically audible way; you know, like my ear drums aren’t responsible for me hearing him. SO that’s sort of tricky and involves a lot of second guessing and asking again and again and again until I feel certain. I’m taking John 10:14 pretty literally.

So, anyway, I’m doing that.  It’s tricky.  And is difficult because I’m trying to be dependent on God to guide me rather than being independent, which I totes prefer.  And maybe it doesn’t matter; maybe I’ll end up doing whatever I want because, honestly, that’s what I usually do.  Hopefully there’s an “A for effort” in situations like this.

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2 Responses to “Day 173”

  1. Jennie Rader June 22, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    I think all of this does matter. And I think its beautiful that you are going to ask again and again….seems to me that if you do that, doing what you want will likely be also, what He desires of you! And have you read, “Just Do Something” by Kevin DeYoung? We have it if you want to borrow…..

    • adellamae June 22, 2012 at 7:35 pm #

      Joe actually had me buy it when I got a Kindle a little while ago; he’s read it, and I was thinking I would too. 🙂

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