Day 96

5 Apr

I think I have an existential crisis once a month or so.  A time where I realize everything isn’t how it should be, and everything needs to change.  And so I’ll decide change all the things I do or start doing something new or quit being a certain way.  

Things I’ve given up on whims:  TV, sweets/sugar, pants, brushing my hair, solid foods, anything not on the GAPS diet, and, of course, fast food.  

Attitude changes I’ve attempted to force on myself:  being thankful for everything no matter how crushing I feel like my life is at the moment, being encouraging to my husband, being less melancholy in general.

Things I’ve tried to jump into doing:  exercising at the Y, running, taking the kids for walks every day, blogging every day for a frakking year, juicing, writing in a journal everyday, piercings.

Probably if you combined the amount of time I did/didn’t do each of these things, it would be less than a month.  Excluding the blogging, not wearing pants and not brushing my hair; you know, the really important things.

I get super passionate about things, realize I probably can’t be perfect at it at first pass, and then quit.  Lately, though, I’ve been finding meaning in simply trying new things.  In struggling to do a craft project simply because I enjoy doing it even if I don’t do it exactly right.  In starting traditions that feel empty right now because, well, they’ve only just begun!  I’m learning to try.

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