Day 48

17 Feb

Dear Dad,

This song is very…  moving?  For me?  It makes me think of, well, life.  My life; others who are worse off.  Something.

I couldn’t recall every detail of the first time I heard this song, but I can remember it made an impact.  I would repeat the lyrics– “just a donor of seed”– over and over to myself and feel this weird feeling like this was how I’ve always felt about you.

Especially since, until recently, I think I was made to feel like you knew but didn’t care.  But I now I don’t think you knew anything.  I mean, maybe you did.  Maybe you are some alcoholic, low-life asshole who’ll scream at me for even existing…  but maybe you didn’t have a clue.

I know the point of “Styrofoam Plates” isn’t so much about the single mother or her kids but about a shitty guy dying and not pretending he was an okay dude just because he’s dead.  But the few words or phrases that ring true for me always catch me off guard; always make me feel emotions I’d rather repress.

It’s weird how I don’t really think you’re a dead-beat dad, but this song really makes me think about you.

See ya,

AM

 

P.S.  Sorry it’s a lame video with just the album cover; there’s not sweet music video to go along with the song, and I’m pretty inept with this whole blogging/internetting thing.  Take it for what it is.

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