A little background information

13 Nov

I’m not sure who will end up reading this, so I think I’ll go ahead and assume you know nothing about me.  A short history of what brings me to make such a blog as this:

I was born in 1987 in southern Illinois.  My mom was about 24 years old and was attending Southern Illinois University (she was slightly older than the “average” student having not gone right on to college after graduating from high school).  I was conceived with a dude, a college dude, you know?  Like not necessarily a boyfriend (or maybe not even a friend?), but a dude.  Get it?  So my mom didn’t tell this dude that she was pregnant; as a matter of fact, she didn’t really tell anyone in our family that she was pregnant (maybe my aunt/her sister?); she planned to give me up for adoption.  She had a nice family all picked out, and they were even there when I was born.  But she ended up keeping me– something to do with Illinois law (which I’ve only recently learned about; like last week recently) which makes birth mothers wait 3 days before actually being able to give up their babies– she didn’t want me to have to be in the hospital by myself or something like that.  I have an Alvin (of Alvin and the Chipmunks) doll that is from this family that wanted me.

So, you see, she kept me.  She brought me back “home” with her to where my grandparents (her parents, obviously) were in Spring Valley, and there you have it.  I was an Edgcomb.  With a big, fat blank spot where “father’s name” was supposed to be on my birth certificate.

And now, it’s time to look.  I mean, I’ve gone 24 years without knowing much.  And I’ve felt lied to and betrayed.  And not wanted.  And confused about who I really am.

Luckily, I’ve come to understand that I have an ultimate identity that really doesn’t have much to do with my biological father (that God loves me, wants me, pursues and cares for me– perhaps you know the story?), but the fact remains that it took 2 people to make me, and I’ve only ever met the 1 (my mom is the one I know, did you follow that?).  And now I think it’s time to try to meet the other half of my genetic code.  So now it’s time to look.


One Response to “A little background information”

  1. areyoumyfather April 20, 2012 at 4:54 pm #

    Your statement about being lied to and betrayed touched my heart – that seems to be the major feeling in general with all of us who are searching for that man without a face – our biological fathers. The pain and anguish that go along with the lies from our mothers is, at times, unbearable. What mother would have thought back then that science would prove to be our ally? DNA tests are a miraculous discovery – at least in my case. God bless you – take care, Jane

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